Our Story

Our story begins in May of 2000, actually Mother's Day I took a home pregnancy test to see if I was pregnant and it came up positive. My husband, Ryan and I were on top of the world, as this was our first child. We could not wait to tell everyone. I wanted to shout it from the roof top. I went to the doctor the next day to have it confirmed and indeed I was, we were telling everyone. I went for my first appointment the first part of June, 2000.  They gave me a due date of January 10, 2001.  I could not think of a better way to start the year out.  
   
     We were on top of the world but that all came tumbling down on June 30th, 2000.  I had gotten a bad cold and called the doctor to see what I could take they told me to come in at that time I was 12 weeks pregnant the doctor said he should be able to hear the baby's heartbeat I got so excited but he was having trouble finding it so he sent me to ultrasound I thought oh boy I'm going to get to see my baby as I said before this was our first child I never dreamt anything could be wrong the ultrasound lady took a few pictures and went to get a second lady when she came in I asked what was wrong.  At that time they asked if I would like to call my husband. OK now I was scared and crying not only did I call Ryan I also called my sister to begin the prayer chain at church. When Ryan got there they took us back to the doctor and he explained that the our baby had a developmental disability, in regards to the brain.  They wanted us to see a group of  specialist which consisted of three doctors in Akron.  With it being 4th of July weekend we were unable to get in until July 5th. I don't think it really sunk in because I really believed that God was going to work a miracle over that weekend.  We had people all over the United States praying and I believed when I saw the specialist he was going to say everything was fine. Unfortunately the specialist did not tell us that, instead he diagnosed our baby with hydrocephalous which is fluid on the brain. They told us that we should have an abortion because our baby would not survive to full term and if she did there would be numerous complications.  But having an abortion never crossed either Ryan or my mind. At the time I did not know that I got the doctor with the least bedside manner of them all for my first visit.  Although some people did not agree with us we felt it was the right thing to do for us and our baby.

       It still did not sink in that something was wrong I was still believing in God to heal our baby.  I continued to see the specialist every two weeks and the last week of July they did an amniocentesis on me to determine if there was a chromosomeproblem.  At that time we found out all our baby's chromosomes were normal and that we were having a girl, again I was so excited.  I called everyone right away to tell them.  We immediately begin thinking of names I wanted something unique.  One night at my sisters as we were looking at the name book, she said "I got it how about Gabrielle?",  it means female angel.  I said perfect we already knew we wanted Faith as the middle name because we still had faith. 

        All through out my pregnancy I never had any physical complications other then I had all day sickness for the fist 4 months.  I did not even get big enough to wear maternity clothes.  I continued to see the specialist which I know was prayers answered that it happened to be Dr. Stewart.  I had been blessed to be seeing him, he is the most kind hearted doctor I had ever seen. We wanted him to deliver Gabrielle unfortunately he was on call at the other hospital until 4:00 p.m. so if she was born before then we would have a different doctor.   We continued to go to the doctor every 2 weeks up until October when an ultrasound detected that Gabrielle's lungs were underdeveloped by many weeks I then started to go to the doctor every week.  They wanted to keep a close eye on Gabrielle and myself.

       At this time they also talked to us about whether we wanted a C-section or natural.  The doctor's did not want to do a C-section at the time.  I wanted a C-section but as they explained the risks Ryan was afraid that I would die in surgery, so we decided to have her natural.  At this time they also felt it was best to induce my labor 1 week ahead of my due date because we live 1-1/2 hours away from the hospital I would deliver in.  So now were going to have a baby January 03, 2001.

       We continued to do everything a couple expecting a baby does.  We began planning for her arrival, buying things, fixing up her room, which is done in angels. In October an ultrasound discovered that her lungs were severely underdeveloped, at that time they began doing non-stress test every other week. Every other week when we were hooked up to the monitor her heart rate would be great, and once again she proved to be strong. 

       As the weeks and months continued to go by I began getting more excited, then nervous until Christmas when I realized that I was going to have a baby in 1 week.  As January quickly approached I was getting even more nervous I went to the doctor one last time on December 29th, 2001, to determine if I would be admitted the day before to start the inducement or come in the day I was to have her.  I was only dilated at 1-1/2 so they told me they would admit me January 2nd and start me on potassium. 

       So on January 2, 2001, along with my sister, Pam, who had been my rock all through my pregnancy and Ryan who had also been my rock.  We set off for Akron General Hospital, we had to be there by 6:00 p.m.  When we arrived they did an ultrasound to see if she was turned and indeed she was. They then started to put my IVs in and they were having a hard time.  With this many people trying for hours I was getting very frustrated and I was becoming more nervous.  After about 4 hours they got everything going.  Due to the trouble they had I was scheduled to go to labor and delivery the next day at 8:00 a.m.  Now I would not go till 10:00 a.m. I did not know at the time but that was all part of God's plan.

       Ryan and Pam stayed that night in the hospital with me.  When I awoke the next day my parents, my brother in law, Rick and my nephew, Ricky and Ryan's family were there along with my pastor and his wife and two special friends Renea and her mom, Sis. Curatti were all there to be with us on the happiest day of our lives.  At about 9:30 a.m. Dr. Crane came in, this was the doctor with very few bedside manners. He was mad because I was not over in labor and delivery.  The nurses explained to him of the complications the night before, he did not care, so off I went to labor and delivery. They did another ultrasound, she was still turned but I had not dilated any more. 

       Later that day the neonatologist came in to meet with Ryan and me.  Gabrielle was scheduled to go to Akron Children's Hospital when she was born. He was of another nationality, I could not understand him and he could not understand me.  I did not care as long as he understood that she was to be hooked up to a machine if she was not breathing on her own. They continued to check me and as the day went on I had only dilated to 3 by 4:00 p.m. Dr. Crane was off for the day and  Dr. Stewart came on at 5:00 p.m. Dr. Stewart decided that Gabrielle's head was too large to have her naturally therefore I would have a C-section. 

       As they began prepping us they let our family and friends all in my room and at that time they said a prayer for us. Ryan and Pam were going to both be in the delivery room but due to the C-section Ryan was the only one allowed in the delivery room with me.  I began to get very nervous.  I remembered being rolled out the hallway and seeing my dad and asking him if the church had been called, he said Ricky had done that. At 6:40 p.m. Gabrielle Faith was born weighing 4 lbs. 3 1/2 oz. and 18 in. long. Dr. Stewart held her up for a minute before rushing her to the recesitation room, so I could see her she was beautiful. 

       As they were finishing Ryan kept looking in the room where she was, all he could see was they were working on her. They finished the surgery and wheeled me to recovery all I wanted was my little girl, it was about 30 minutes before I got to see her.  She was brought in before going to Children's Hospital.  She was in a isolet, so all I could do was touch her through a hole, she looked perfect, other than her ears were lower on her head, due to the fluid. Everybody was back there by now and they were all able to see our little angel.

        I was not allowed to go to Children's Hospital with her due to the C-section, so Ryan went with her.  I wanted to go so bad.  I was so afraid Children's Hospital would take her off the vent yhat I sent everyone over there and Ricky stayed with me. I remember a nurse saying to me "honey you are young you can have other children" I thought Gabrielle had passed away.  I sent Ricky to get me a phone number for Children's Hospital. As he was leaving everybody was coming back from Children's Hospital and said she was stable and that she needed her rest.

        Ryan went back to Children's Hospital that night and slept in the waiting room.  On Thursday I went over to see Gabrielle, although she was hooked up to numerous things she was alert.  She had not been able to urinate since she was born, so they were running test on her to check her kidneys.  Yhey were having a hard time keeping her tempature up so her isolet was set at 103 degrees and for this reason I was unable to hold her, but later Thursday evening her temperature was better and I was able to hold her. I held her for quite a long time until her temperature began to fall again.  So she had to be put in the isolet again, but before I did that as I was holding her my sister was standing behind me and at one time she said Gabrielle's name, Gabrielle looked up at her and stuck her tongue out at her, that was the first time I had laughed in days. 

       On Friday we met with the neurologist to discuss putting a shunt in her head which would drain the fluid into her stomach.  The doctors' concern of doing this was  her kidneys were not working properly and her lungs were measuring 10 weeks underdeveloped.  The doctor was very concerned that she would not make it through the surgery.  We asked the doctor if it was his daughter would he do the surgery and he said no.  After a lot of thinking and praying we decided not to have the surgery due to the fact that if she was going to pass away we did not want her to be alone. That was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. I wanted to spend every moment with her as I did not know how long she would be with us.  So that is exactly what we did.

       On Friday the doctor's met with us again to discuss her kidneys as they were shutting down.  They did not feel that Gabrielle was going to make it very much longer.  At that time I still had faith that God was going to heal her, but on Saturday, January 06, 2001, at 3:17 p.m. Gabrielle passed away in my arms. I did not think of itat the time but weeks later Pam reminded me of a dream I had while I was pregnant.  I dreamt that I was holding Gabrielle and there were people standing all around me and my dad was standing behind me with his hand on my shoulder and that is exactly the way it was right before she passed away.   I held her for a very long time I did not want to let her go.

       As we were in a waiting room giving instruction of what was to be done, Gabrielle's nurse came in and asked if we wanted to give her a bath I had not even thought about that but she was kind enough to ask and I said yes.  Ryan was having  a hard time so Pam went with me. I don't know how I actually got through, people say it's because I am a mother.  It was one of the best experiences I had with my daughter.  On the way home all I could think about was how much I wanted her to be with us. I felt so empty inside.

       The next day we went to the funeral home to make the arrangements and the funeral home we decided to use is family owned and they were the nicest people. They told us what we needed to do and offered things to us that I don't think most funeral homes would do, like letting me dress her the day of calling hours and placing pictures and any momentos all around the funeral home that we wanted.  They also allowed us to come before calling hours and hold her as long as we wanted and to do the same the day of the funeral.  It helped me to be able to hold her like that. We arranged a funeral just like anyone else would have with one difference, she would only have 2 pall bearers, which were her cousins Ricky and Robbie.

       Since Gabrielle was so tiny we had nothing nice to fit her. Ryan does not voice his opinion about too many things but he did want a nice dress for his little girl. So the next day Pam and I went looking for a dress for her, it was hard to find tiny dresses but we found a pink lacy dress. We were unable to get one to fit her perfectly so the funeral home said they could fix the dress to where it would look good they also recommended a bonnet because the fluid was beginning to evaporate from her head.  The day of calling hours I went to the funeral home to dress Gabrielle for the last time, again it was the hardest thing to do emotionally. And on January 10, 2001, my actual due date at 11:00am we buried our little angel Gabrielle Faith Williams.

        It has been a little over a year now, not only does it feel like yesterday but I still have days where I am as emotional as the day it happened.  I do a lot of things in memory of her and I think that helps.

       An Angel in the book of life wrote down Gabrielle's birth. 
       And whispered as she closed the book "Too beautiful for Earth'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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All content © Gabrielle's Mum and Dad  -created 26th January 2002